Who Was I Before You?

WHO WAS I BEFORE YOU?

You don’t know how it hurts,

you can’t imagine the pain,

you don’t feel how it bleeds.

I am broken,

completely shattered,

crying for me, for you,

and for all the feelings

I built with you.

Without knowing why,

I lost a brother, a friend.

Hey Lord, why did I let

this happen to me?

Why was I cursed,

enslaved, and tortured

by a passion that deafens

my ears, curling me

inside the dark womb

of an invisible sorrow?

Why does it hurt so much?

And when will it stop?

I don’t want to collect

so much pain,

I don’t want to suffer

in vain.

Not knowing if I can

still hope,

not knowing if I

can still have you.

Throwing myself

into the cold abyss

called sadness.

Carrying this mourning,

this wound that won’t heal,

this cry that no one hears.

And yet,

I keep dreaming of you,

waking by your side,

listening to your boyish voice.

I wake up wondering,

rising without strength,